Life is a highway

Torn and Twisted

2011-08-11T16:15:00.000-07:00

I work in a district that is not well off. In fact our high school is in phase five because we have not made adequate yearly progress. We are considered at risk. About 95% of our students are on free and reduced lunch and probably 75% come from single family homes. In my twelve year career here I have seen the schools consolidate and the student population severely decline. What is also sad is I have seen many quality families leave the district. Now, granted for some it is because there are no jobs in town, but there is also the “white flight”. What we have left is not what it used to be. My district has a bad reputation. When I respond with where I teach very often you hear “Oh.” There are other surrounding districts that complain when they get our kids. With that said, we have a very good curriculum, we may not have a ton of resources but we have adequate supplies, and we have teachers that give their blood, sweat, and tears to the kids, the school, the lessons, etc. (Granted there are some teachers that are less than desirable but you have that type anywhere and everywhere.) I believe in our schools.

Now the twisted and torn comes into play. As my own child approaches school age we are forced to make decisions. Luckily or maybe not so lucky we have choices since our state has schools of choice. We can send the boys anywhere. Currently they attend a phenomenal daycare in a city other than we live in. We started them there as infants for two reasons; One it is top of the line and two it is run by friends, family if you will, and I know they are loved every day. I have never once worried about my children. Now that they are leaving the safety of that environment we have to decide what the next step is. We have choices. We could send Jack to our home school district. This would mean he would need before and after school care, where I don’t know. Or Jack could attend school at my district. For me this was an easy decision. It’s the beauty of being a teacher; he can be in my building. He can hang out in my room before and after school. Then when he gets older and Ryan is ready for school we can transfer them back to our home district, that way they are together. Besides all that what better way to prove that I believe in what my colleagues and I do, then send my child there. If it good enough for my child it is good enough for everyone.

It has come to my attention that some of my friends and family are questioning this plan. I guess they have questions and concerns about whether it would be good for Jack.
• What about all the bad kids, do you want Jack around that?
• It’s _____________, really?
• Just because Carrie teaches there doesn’t mean you have to send your kids there.
• Why would you live in such a great district and send your kids there?
• Do you really want Jack to have his mommy right down the hall?
• What about having friends? He won’t make any in his hometown and then you will be going back and forth all the time.
• You pay taxes here; your kids should go here.
• Well I guess it would be okay for a little while but not forever.

All this questioning has me questioning. I guess one of my biggest questions is do these people think that what I do is like charity. Do they think that because I teach in a poor district the quality of education is poor? Do they think we don’t provide quality education? Are they really concerned about Jack or are they judging the poor area and students I teach?

My question is what is best for my child? Should he be his own person, in his own building with his mom being like every other kid in the class, the teacher will email me like everyone else not catch me in the hall? Do I care what other people think and I go with my professional opinion? I’m just not sure.

Battle of Green Beans

2011-08-02T16:06:00.000-07:00

World War Vegetables has been waged in the Fisher household. The parties involved are Parents vs. 4 and 1/2 year old. (I add the 1/2 because anytime you ask Jack how old he is he mentions it. So I feel that it is important detail ;) ) So far the battles have only been fought on the homefront but if they continue I am sure will go over-seas.

Tonight's menu was pork, corn and green beans. I got smart and I had Jack and Ryan help me clean, prepare and cook the vegetables. I explained what the choices were and let him, choose which one he wanted to eat. Jack decided he would wage war against green beans. I obliged and cut them small as he asked. Dinner started off great, he ate all of his pork and biscuit and then by the time the rest of us were done, his beans were still untouched. I offered him corn, let him know he would have 30 minutes to eat the beans and begin to clean up the kitchen. With 10 minutes remaining he announced, "I am not eat them." This time Tom explained, that's fine but that means you will take your bath and go to bed and stay there for the rest of the night.

I looked over at one point and I thought I saw him playing with his napkin. I was almost excited that he was smart enough to hide them. But the napkin was EMPTY. Then I looked over and I noticed his hands under the table...was he feeding them to Casey? NOPE!! Wow is there something wrong with me that I am hoping he is smart enough to try to get away with not eating them?

The timer runs out and he is escorted upstairs by his father for his bath. The bath finishes and I hear the boys giggle as they avoid getting dressed. Then you hear Jack cry "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED."

I don't know if there is a winnner in this battle. He didn't eat the beans and we are going to have to listen to him.

Battle of Corn

2011-08-01T16:27:00.000-07:00

Jack doesn't eat his vegetables on a regular basis. In fact his is generally a horrible picky eater. I have been re-reading Love and Logic and deciding that I need to stop fixing seperate meals for the boys. So tonight we had hot-dogs, corn on the cob, and grilled vegetables. I told the boys they had to have corn or grilled zuchini and squash. Jack has eaten corn 1/2 a dozen times before although lately he is boycotting it.

Enter tonights battle of wills:

Jack refuses to eat his corn and asked for carrots. Tom and I both told him his choice was corn or vegetables. Corn was put on his plate. He ate the hot dog and then wanted to be excused. Ryan asked to go outside, so Tom told him he would take him out after he was done with the dishes. Jack immediately jumps up. Tom reminds him that he couldn't get up until he ate his veggies. The tears begin.

J: I want to go outside.

T: Then eat your corn

J: I want carrots

T: Not one of the choices. I love you too much to argue.

He then takes Ryan outside and I am left to monitor the battle of corn. Jack begins screaming crying I want carrots. I send him to his room and tell him when he is ready to eat his corn he can come back down. After about 10 minutes he returns.

As angry he can be he yells "Why can't I go outside??"

Me: Because you won't eat your corn. Eat it and you can go outside.

J: You are breaking my heart in a million pieces. More pieces than this stupid corn.

Tom had divided the serving into two sections a large section and a section "this is what you have to eat." I look over and he is flicking all the corn from the "eat" section to the other section. After he has moved almost all of the corn over he comes over to me.

J: Look at how much I ate.

Me: You didn't eat it, you moved it over to the other side of the plate. Now move it back and eat it.

J: But then I have to touch it and I'll get it all over my fingers.

Me: You can use your fork.

J: I don't want to eat it!!! I want to go outside.

Me: Well I would eat it soon because I am sure Ryan and Daddy will be in soon.

He then sits there and stews some more still not eating the corn. He uses a variety of excuses to get up.

I'm really really full
I'm cold
I'm hot
I have to go to the bathroom
I'm not hungry.

After 80 minutes the Battle of Corn was won!!

Mom and Dad :1 Jack: 0

Cute things

2011-07-24T17:58:00.000-07:00

Ryan is starting to put together sentences. Generally two words but watching him develop is awesome.

Today we are on our way home, Jack was being very obnoxious and we reminded him of appropriate behavior in the car. He then decided to jam along to the music. After about 10 minutes Ryan decided he was going to annoy his brother. Over and over again he said, "Jack, HI!" After about 10 times Jack begins saying "Ryan stop that's annoying." Then Ryan decides to make his penguin noise, which sounds like "Ackkk Ackkk" Tom and I had to laugh.

As I am putting him to bed tonight he says. "Ryan funny."

Also everytime the phone rings he says "Shorty talk" any indication of how much I talk to my mom?

Keeping up

2011-07-18T19:39:00.000-07:00

I guess I started this because I wanted to remember all the things that made me laugh and even cry about my boys. I sat tonight working on a new photo book, because I haven't done one since Ryan turned one, and I realized how incredibly blessed I am . I also realized that I need to take time each day to reflect on the good. So, I am going to try..... ;)

Today the boys and I went out to Albion to see Drumunity. It was an amazing performance geared at kids. We went with Aunt La-La, Anderson and Lilli. I think my favorite part was watching the boys faces as they pounded away on the drums. Of course I could have done without the noise, but hey that's life.

Back to school

2011-01-09T16:26:00.000-08:00

Okay so I know that boys tend to not be very good at being sick. I also know that I should not complain. I am very lucky to have a great husband who is very helpful. BUT I would like to vent for a moment.

So I have been sick since Friday. I'm not dying but I am not on my A game. We had a party yesterday. Tom was great for the pre and post party.
Today was my first day of grad school. Tom slept in till 10:O0, I knew he wasn't feeling well so I got up with the boys. Fed them, dressed them, etc. Once he got up I showered and left for school. I was at class from 12-4. I got home and he went back to bed. I then spent the next two hours putting away laundry. Then I had to unload the dishwasher so I could load the dirty dishes from the sick into the dishwasher. At 7:00 I finally sat down to relax.

Wow it's been a day! But honestly I wouldn't change it. I just wish sometimes I could take a vacation from reality ;)

Conversations with an almost 4 year old

2010-12-12T06:24:00.000-08:00

Jack is quickly approaching 4. It's weird that you can actually have a full on conversation and he tells stories that are actually quite detailed. Here a a few of his funny ones.

J: Mommy, today Ryan P kicked me in the "knuckles" it hurt so bad.
M: Did you tell Miss Carrie?
J: No, Miss Carrie was driving bus and Miss Kim was going home. So I told Miss Jackie.
M: What happened?
J: She said "Not nice, Ryan go sit on the bench." Then she got me a boo-boo ice and I put it on my pee-pee. It hurts to get kicked in the "knuckles"
M: I guess so

M: Jack, Santa is watching. Do you want to be on his nice list or his naughty list?
J: Maybe his naughty list
M: If you are on naughty list you don't get any presents.
J: Hmmm maybe the nice list.

An indication that my child has too many toys. At his birthday party he opened the Batman Castle that he got last year from Santa.
J: Wow a Batman castle! I always wanted one.
Later when we discussed he already had one he said he wanted to keep it. I tried to explain we didn't really need two and maybe he could pick something else.
J: Yeah but if we keep it, than my baby can play with the old one and I will keep the new one and then I don't have to share.

Every year my close friends and I get together for ChristmaKuh . The kids all got gifts. Addie got a Barbie and some clothes. As the other Moms were cleaning up I was playing with the kids. Also known as stripping and redressing Barbie. Sammy and Jack came over.
S: I want to play with Barbie.
A: There is only one.
S: I want a Barbie.
J: Me too!
Me: Sammy do you want a Ken so that maybe you can play Barbies with Addie?
S: Yea that would be okay.
J: I want a Ken too!

Jack is capable of taking care of himself in the bathroom. However, periodically he will yell from the bathroom "I'm DONE!!" Which translates to will someone come wipe my butt. We get a big kick out of it, because a larger version of Jack used to do the exact same thing. In the middle of Jack's birthday party we heard a "Daddy! Daddy, I'm done." It progressively got louder and more desperate. Turns out other 4 year olds do the same thing. :)

Needless to say they are keeping us entertained and that doesn't even include the stuff Ryan has been up to. :)

Fisherisms

2010-11-10T16:31:00.000-08:00

It has been brought to my attention by loved ones that there are phrases that I over use. I am assuming that it is even probably annoying. The funny thing is that I honestly don't even realize that I say them.

Jack has started saying "Really Ryan? Really?" or different variations of "Really?" When I said to my mother, I don't know where he get's it, she laughed and pointed at me.
A co-worker gave me a compliment and poked fun at me by saying they "We in awe of my teaching and the fabulous use of "Kay?" Again as innocent as a newborn I said "Really? Do I say it that often." Her response was giggles.
My good friend Megan has reminded me several times that I say "Dude" enough that people may think I am part surfer.
If something is funny my token come back is "That's hilarious."
I know I have said um, uh , ah, enough that a principal wrote it in an observation.

All of this has made me aware that I may not be communicating as a professional or even an intelligent human being. =) I guess I need to be more aware of the words that come out of my mouth.

A few giggles on our account

2010-07-28T16:32:00.000-07:00

* Jack will occassionally call people names. Recently he was calling people Taco. I figured it was fairly harmless and then I realized that it could be considered a racial slur........so I told him again it wasn't nice to call people names and not to call people Tacos. We didn't hear "TACO" for awhile and then it resurfaced again. I told him again to not call people names the next day he said to me "Mommy you are a cracker." -Great what's next.

* Both boys are addicted to icecream that they know where it is and what it is. One night after I finished mine I shared with both of them. Jack went to the refrigerator took out an icecream and took it to Tom.

*Jack's stomach has a voice, it is rather deep it randomly says "I'm still hungry" or "My belly is full." It is rather funny.

* In the Smokey Mountains there was a bear statue on the bottom of the stairs. Ryan would not crawl past it, however he did growl at it. I guess he figured that if it wasn't scared of him, he shouldn't mess with it.

* Going into the grocery store Jack asked if he could bring his spider man. I told him yes and he says "This time Spider man is going to behave or it will be a real bummer for him to go to his room. "

*My mom was entertaining Ryan by talking like Donald Duck. Ryan and Jack found it exceptionally funny. The best part is that they try to do it too and Ryan sounds like a heavy breather.

How to tell your son drives with his father

2010-06-17T04:59:00.000-07:00

So as I was driving with Jack I realized not once but several times that my son will drive like his dad.

1. "Why are we stopped?" Jack asks
"Because there is traffic."
"Go around it." he responds

2. As I state to a car in front of me, "Nice blinker."
Jack from the backseat says "Yeah you damn idiot."

3. He tells me that is not how daddy does it, goes etc.....

4. Mommy you drive too slow

]

Oh the Joys of Motherhood

2010-05-16T16:39:00.000-07:00

So this morning started out great. I got up and took the boys to walk in the Relay for Life for our daycare team. We met Aunt Jess and Max and walked with her. After about a 1/2 hour or so Jess noticed Jack was holding himself.

"Jack do you have to go potty?" Jess asked
"Yes, really bad." he answered dancing.

I left the two strollers with Jess and started running across the park carrying Jack. He began chanting uh-uh-uh as we ran. I looked at him and said "Don't pee on me." He looked innocently and said "It's bouncy." I promptly put him down and we ran the rest of the way hand in hand. After a miss with the potty we played at the playground for a while and then ended up going to the Coney Island with Coopers and Bauers.

At the Coney Island Jack went to the bathroom twice. We get in the car and make a 45 minute drive to Royal Oak. About 5 minutes from our destination he begins shouting from the back seat I have to go pee and poopy. I get to the place where we have to pick up the package, run in with Jack holding his privates and he makes it to the bathroom. We then drive about 20 minutes and stop at Target.

Jack had been asking for an Iron Man all day, he was pretty good so I decided to indulge. We are in line at Target when Jack begins again asking to go potty.

"Are you serious? You just went? You are just going to have to wait until Mommy pays. Are you serious? You just went? Hold it?" All came out of my mouth in rapid succession as we waited in line and he danced in the cart holding himself. Now to my defense, he asks to go all the time, everywhere. I think he likes to check out bathrooms. He knows that going to the bathroom gets him out of things for a few minutes. (like bed time, dinner, cleaning, etc) So I assumed this was just another example of that power struggle. As I became more annoyed with the inconvenience of it all, Jack makes a little noise and then says "I'm all wet." As he says this urine is pouring down his leg, through the cart and all over the floor. I calmly tell the cashier,

"I'm really sorry he just had an accident, you are going to need a mop or something." The cashier says "It's okay. It happens, I guess he really had to go." She then turns on her light, when the supervisor comes over she points at Jack, "He peed, we need a clean up and that cart is going to need to be hosed." I am now horrified. I lift Jack out of the cart, pick up Ryan and march out of the store. Jack is walking with his legs wide apart and whining, I'm wet. Then he stops and begins crying "I left my sunglasses." I whip around and march back in to the pee soaked cart to look for the sunglasses, meanwhile Jack is stopping traffic as he walks slowly with his pee soaked pants behind me. I am shouting "Come on!" as a young 20 something couple looks at me with judging eyes. I hear the Target workers talking, laughing, and complaining about cleaning up my kids urine. I check the cart, no glasses.
"They aren't there, they are probably in my bag. Regardless, let's go!" I grab Jack's hand and march out to the truck. I put Ryan in his car seat and strap him in. Put Jack in the passenger front seat and begin to change him. I had a clean pair of underwear for him but that was it. He was now clean, dry, and in just a t-shirt and underwear. (His socks and shoes were wet too.) I then put him in his car seat with the intent to go home.

Wrong! I cannot find my keys anywhere. I begin tearing my bag apart. I begin tearing my car apart. I take Ryan out of his car seat to make sure they aren't under him. I realize I cannot go back into the store because Jack is barely dressed. I cannot leave them in the car. I begin to panic. I called Tom to talk me down. We were a 1/2 hour from home but he said he would bring the extra keys. I took a deep breath and said I would figure it out. I flagged down a Target worker and embarrassed explained, "My son had an accident in the store, I have him changed but he in now in just underwear and I cannot find my keys. I think I may have dropped them in the store." He was very nice and asked if I looked in my bags-ya think? Then said he would check inside. Meanwhile a nice lady came over and said "I'm a mom, I've been there. Do you need a pull up?" I explained the pee soaked kid was now clean and dry, I just now had no way to leave Target without keys. The Target guy comes back out "They remembered you, there were no keys. Where else were you at?"

I began to tear the car d apart for the 5th or 6th time when I noticed the keys. When I put Jack in the front to clean him up, I must have set the keys on the dash. With all thrashing around I did, I must have knocked them, or they slid...anyway they ended up way in the front of my windshield under the wipers. Now do I flag down the Target guy again and tell him I found my keys? Do I call and tell the ladies at guest services? I probably should have, but I just threw the keys in the ignition and got the heck out dodge.

JAWS

2010-05-16T16:27:00.000-07:00

Ryan started out with two teeth. They seemed to come early and always in pairs. At 13 months old he has 10, including 2 molars. He started biting Mommy about six months. He quickly realized that, that was not such a good idea.

On the other hand he also quickly learned biting his brother was a good idea. Ryan is pretty laid back which is a good thing because his older brother frequently mauls him, loves him into submission, and basically beats on him regularly. However as Ryan has gotten a little older he is starting to get a mind for himself. When Jack will take toys he grunts, crys, screams etc. Then one day he discovered that if he bites Jack; he gets the toy back, Jack cries, and leaves him alone.

As a parent I know I need to teach Ryan that biting is not nice, especially since he went to school and bit his friend Max, but I also understand that he is defending himself. What is funny is that Ryan has only bit Jack twice but all he has to do is open his mouth and lean towards Jack and Jack immediately screams and runs away. I can almost hear the Jaws soundtrack as it happens.

Star Wars

2010-05-11T09:33:00.000-07:00

My husband loves Star Wars. He read the books, had the toys, memorized the movies and married his own Princess Leia, aka (me. Carrie Fisher) It seems that the traits are genetic. Jack says that Star Wars is his favorite movie. Tom dug out his Star Wars toys and Jack is loving it. He told me the other day "Blue Sywalker is a good guy, Darp Vader has a red sord."

Dog food and kids

2010-04-01T17:01:00.000-07:00

What is the fascination with dog food and water? Ryan crawls over to the bowls every night and tries to play in them. If he is successful he cracks himself up. I just don't get it.

Well it's been a while

2010-03-28T06:53:00.000-07:00

Started this for a variety of reasons. One of which was I wanted to record/document things about the boys that I didn't want to forget. So my goal for the remainder of the year is to post at least once a week. Even if it is a short, nonsense blog. (Hey which is totally me)

Ryan is currently pulling himself up to stand but doesn't like to walk on things. He actually cries once he is standing until you come and hold his hands. Then with a big grin he wants you to walk him all around the room. He will be a year old in two weeks
Jack has learned the perfect thing to say to his mother. "Mommy you are beautiful" and "You are a princess." Which is a very smart thing to say to your mom. =)
I am greeted at the door every night with either "No time outs today." or "Just a little time out" I guess a little time out is kind of like a little pregnant.
I have been told that I need to obey-by my three year old
Ryan has started biting himself when he is really mad. I guess as long as he doesn't bite anyone else we are doing okay.
Neither of my children sleep through the night, I am wondering if I will ever get a full nights sleep.
Jack and Ryan have started sibling rilvary already. They have fought over toys and this morning Jack complained that Ryan was wiping boogers on him. I have a feeling this is just the beginning.
Feeling very blessed to have such sweet wonderful kids and a husband to support me.

Sleep monster

2009-08-13T19:05:00.000-07:00

My brother often says "You can't blame the Frankenstein for what he does, it's the doctor's fault for creating him." Keeping that in mind I am fully aware that the sleep monster I have created is my own fault.

Jack was a colicky baby. How we made it through those first six weeks is a total blur. He also would not nurse. But I was determined to breast feed, so I would get up and give him a bottle and then pump so every feeding was about an hour awake or so. Luckily by three months he would nurse so that was no longer an issue. Although there were still plenty. He would wake up every time you would put him down and it would take forever to get him back to sleep. We tried the cry-it out. I am a wimp and couldn't do it. I even bought ear plugs, but after a hour and 45 minutes I decided he was just as stubborn as we were and it was just cruel. So I rocked him. I slept with him. I put him to sleep on the boppy.

By the time he was one and in the toddler room he was napping just fine at daycare. According to his teachers after lunch he would get down from his chair, go to his cot and lay right down and go to sleep. This was not the case at home, so I thought huh we'll try it. I put the baby mattress on the floor. I would lay next to him on it till he fell asleep and then sneak out. This worked for a little while. Then one time he walked into his closet, got confused and couldn't find his way out. He would roll out of bed and cry or wander the upstairs crying. So we quickly got a toddler bed. Have you ever seen a grown person trying to lay in a toddler bed? Have you ever tried to lay in a toddler bed? I don't recommend it. It was tough on us but it was even worse on Jack. It took a couple of weeks before I figured it out but he would wake up with bruises. He thrashed around the bed so much that he was bumping himself and that was what was waking him up. This just wasn't working. We had a queen size bed in the guest room so that was where Jack and I ended up most nights.

When we got pregnant with Ryan I decided that we might as well make the guest room Jack's room. We put the mattress on the bed and bought a toddler rail. He was probably one of the only two year old with a queen size bed. The hitch, we still have to lay with him until he falls asleep. At one point and time he would ONLY let me put him down. If Tom had to do it for what ever reason we had nothing but tears. Now, Daddy can also put him Na-night. He is two and a half and we are still laying with him till he falls asleep. We sneak out of bed and if he wakes up we lay back down. He says "Mommy I snuggle you," and wraps himself around me like a boa constrictor.

I know there are parents who lay their children down and walk out of the room and don't see them to morning. There are times I long for that. I figure he isn't going to do this forever-right? (I hope, it may be weird when he has friends over at 10 years old) Maybe I did create my little sleep monster. but he won't be little forever and I am sure there will come a time that he will pretend he doesn't know me instead of demanding to be snuggled.

Cereal....the magic potion

2009-08-13T18:50:00.000-07:00

As a new mother many people suggest you give your baby cereal as if it was a magic potion. When you are having sleepless nights; well meaning, educated, loving individuals will tell you "Give them cereal."

I read an article when Jack was brand new that said that cereal too early did nothing, that it was linked to childhood obesity, and juvenile diabetes. Now as a person who always struggles/d with weight I did not want to do ANYTHING that would make my children fat so I waited. Jack was never overweight, in fact he was in the 25 percentile for weight. At about 4 months when a friend had asked why I hadn't started cereal I shared my reasoning. To which she responded "Shanny have you seen your son, he's starving! Give that kid some damn cereal." Needless to say we started solids shortly there after and he did just fine.

Fast forward to baby #2, being a good mother I try to keep up with research etc. I read several articles that suggest waiting until the baby is 4-6 months before starting solids and they recommend 6 months. So I was kind of riding the fence about it. My mom had stayed with us and she said "You need to give that baby cereal, he'll sleep better." I quickly told her what I had read and shared that I was going to talk to my pediatrician about it. When we went to the pediatrician she told me you could go ahead and start solids, give it a try, if he likes it fine. If not wait a little while and try again later. I decided that my mom and the fact that the pediatrician brought it up I should try the whole cereal thing. I bought the rice cereal and mixed the cardboard concoction and fed it to Ryan. Surprisingly he ate it, granted he likes food and it shows but most babies spit more of it out than eat it, most of it. Then he promptly passed out. I figured it was what he needed and again I must have been starving my baby. Then he spent the entire night screaming. I thought maybe it was a fluke so I did the cereal again the second night. Again he was up every 2 hours screaming, I was pissed. All these people talk about cereal being God's gift to babies and this is worse than I had it at week 1. Needless to say I made a call to the pediatrician and they said to not give him the cereal for a night and see how he does. HE WAS FINE!!! Thank you people but I am going to wait and for your information cereal is not a magic potion.

The sweetest thing

2009-08-10T18:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Jack sat in my lap in the living room and he happened to notice our wedding pictures. This was our conversation.

"Mommy that you and Daddy." Jack said as he pointed at the pictures.
"Yep, that was at our wedding."
"You princess."
"Oh because of my dress, that's so nice."
"You B-utifull!! "
"Oh I love you!!"

This might have been one of the sweetest things I have ever heard!!

Toddler Translations

2009-08-08T17:38:00.000-07:00

Mommy I not poopy = I most definitely am going poopy in my pants right now and there is nothing you can do about it.
I see it= I would like to hold it, touch it, and possibly break it.
I not sleepy= I am so overtired I am minutes from a complete meltdown so proceed with caution.
I promise= I will try real hard but it's quite possible it is going to happen again any minute.
I no like it= I am most definitely not eating this, most likely I will feed it to the dog, and again there is nothing you can do about it.
It's my turn= Meet my needs RIGHT now!
I show you = Please focus all attention on me RIGHT now!
It's my favorite = I like it awhole lot and don't even think of taking it away or me sharing it in any way shape or form.

and my son's new personal favorite: No girls, only boys = You mommy are not allowed to touch it,do it,look at it, etc.

The Potty Pirate

2009-08-04T18:56:00.000-07:00

Arrrghhh....Blimey, teaching ye little ones is enough to make a Captain want to drink ye self sick with grog or take a trip to Davey Jones Locker.

Yesterday was day 2 of the "Potty Project". The morning started out fantastic, Jack woke up by going to the bathroom right away. He ate breakfast and then of course when I tried to get him dressed he did his typical "Nudie Dudie" dance and ran from me. I decided FINE~ don't get dressed. He then was asking for a pull-up so I was pretty sure he had to poop. So I made him walk around naked. Well he must have been afraid I would make him walk the plank because he eventually pooped on the potty. I was stoked. He stayed dry through nap. But from 4:00 P.M. to 5:00 he managed to pee on my carpet twice, the couch, the hard wood floor, and his train table. Needless to say, I was excited to have back up. The evening ended okay.

On a side note, my favorite thing he said yesterday was a run on sentence of sorts. A two year olds mind runs rampant. He often jumps from one topic to the next. Everyday I ask Tom and Jack "Did you have a good day?" So "Have good day." has become one of Jack's sayings. He also because of potty training has been constantly fiddling with his pee-pee. As he stood before me naked he said "I touch my pee-pee, have a good day, I go work......" Well I am sure for some people they have a good day if they touch their pee-pee too.

This morning Jack did not seem to excited about potty training. He did go potty though and then promptly said "I get sticker." Yep....we followed the same procedure. He generally has his BM about 15 minutes after he eats so I got him undressed. I had him sit on the potty, he peed but no poopy. He asked for a pull-up but I told him after you get dressed. Needless to say it was taking a while. I wanted to shower so I put the potty chair in the living room in front of Dora and the other potty chair in my bedroom in front of Dora.
"If you have to go poopy, sit on the potty. Okay? Where does poopy go?"
"In da potteee. Otay Mommy."
I went upstairs to shower. When I came out Jack was in my bedroom. I asked him "Did the poopy come yet?" "Nope" I made him sit on the potty and it still didn't come so I thought maybe he didn't need to poop so I got him dressed. When we eventually went back downstairs it took me a little while but then I finally noticed it....The poopy was on my hard wood floor.
"Jack did you go poopy on Mommy's floor?"
"Uh huh."
" Where does the poopy go?"
"In da-potteeee"
"Why didn't you tell Mommy?"
" I don know."

Fast forward to leaving the house. I try to convince Jack to put on a pull-up just in case but he insisted on wearing his Superman underwear. So I let him. As we were pulling out of my sister in laws he said "Mommy I not go poopy." I asked him if he had to go and he assured me he did not. We got to Costco and I go to get him out and he was soaked. I quickly reviewed the concept of where pee-pee goes and then quickly changed his clothes and put on a pull-up. When we left I didn't think to check his car seat. When we got out at Kohl's he was soaked. I grabbed a pair of shorts and walked to the customer service and paid for the new shorts and into the bathroom we went. I changed the shorts and then promptly put my son on the potty. Well apparently he really had to go and the stream was pretty powerful. He didn't have it pushed down quite far enough. Well those brand new dry shorts quickly became wet pee-pee covered shorts. I took a deep breath wiped them with a wet paper towel. We went back into the store grabbed 3 more pairs of shorts (they were the nylon gym shorts and they were $4.00) finished my shopping and then checked out. Got to the car and changed our clothes AGAIN, sat on an extra t-shirt and headed home. Needless to say the evening went a LITTLE more smoothly. =)

Potty Party

2009-08-03T05:46:00.000-07:00

So in hopes of trying to get Jack potty trained I read the book "How to Potty Train Your Child in One Day". The book is a very practical guide of how to do it, with ideas, tips, etc. Needless to say it consists of having a "Potty Party" which in toddler understanding it means FUN. You spend the morning teaching a baby doll how to use the potty, reading potty books, videos, etc along with playing with your child. The book suggests a theme and the games and treats all reflect your theme. At lunchtime you have a BIG KID celebration for the doll and then in the afternoon you basically repeat the process with your child. At the end of the day you take it on the road for your child's BIG KID celebration.

I bought the Potty Scotty doll the book recommends. Potty Scotty is blond with a mullet of sorts. You feed him water and it fills his leg. Yes his leg. When you then make Scotty sit down he urinates out of his uncircumcised penis. He is anatomically correct, he even has wrinkles on his sack. The problem with Scotty is if you move his leg in ANY way he leaks, pees, etc. Part of the process is to have the child feel Scotty's underwear to feel what dry underwear feels like....because of Scotty's constant leaking it doesn't feel dry too often. Luckily Jack didn't seem to notice to much. I guess after peeing in your pants for two and a half years there are various stages of dry. Scotty's leaking didn't seem to bad. =)

Saturday morning we started Captain Jack's Pirate Potty Party. The bathroom was labeled the "poop deck" the couch was the "Captain's Quarter's" and the kitchen was the "Galley". We had pirate wear including eye patches, hooks, hat, and swords. Tom's tool box was turned into a treasure chest. Our Pirate Potty treats included gummy words, gold fish, and m& m's. We played walk the plank, cannon ball pop, and treasure hunt. We decorated the bathroom with streamers (which was a big hit). Every time we went into the bathroom Jack would laugh with delight "STREAMERS!" I had four potty books and two potty videos. A potty chart with stickers for Jack and Scotty. We were set. All in all it went very well. Jack was excited about Scotty going potty and every time Scotty had to go so did Jack. (The books says not to force your child but I figured hey...if he wants to why not) The only accident in the morning was a poopy. The poor baby had sat on the potty for three books, three songs and flashcards when he said "Mommy I tried." So I said okay, well let me know if you have to go again. So a little while later while he was playing he said "Mommy I go poopy" Needless to say we were already in process. We took Scotty to McDonalds for lunch, which was a treat. After eating I suggested we take Scotty potty. I whipped out the fold able Diego potty seat for Scotty and Jack insisted he go first- Naturally! Both Jack and Scotty successfully pottied at McD's. We came home for a nap.

Believe me we needed it. I was exhausted. We had planned Jack's big kid celebration for 5:30 at Chucky Cheese. Jack napped from 1:30-3:30. He stayed dry during nap. Got up and we continued. Daddy and Ryan came home and he showed Daddy how to use the potty. We then took the show on the road. We got to Chucky Cheese , where he had never been before, and he was mesmerized. Unfortunately he was so enthralled he had his first pee accident. You could tell he was heart broken. So we changed our clothes. It went okay, Mommy made a mistake and didn't pull his pants down far enough one time so he had to change. Needless to say we changed twice at Chucky's before we went to a pull up. To top the cake off, he went home with Grammy and Papa and his cousins. He did pretty good at Grammy and Papa's with the only accident again being a poopy.

All in all it was worth the time and energy....we are working on it. Today is day 3 of underwear and so far so good. Stay tuned for potty posts. =)

Musings of a Mommy

2009-07-30T19:52:00.000-07:00

So I think that my oldest may be getting a touch of sibling rivalry. Whenever we are talking to, holding, etc his younger brother he has to insert himself completely into Ryan's face or our faces. While I don't want him to feel left out I have a thing about personal space. I am not a fan of "close talkers" and that is precisely what Jack has been doing. Not sure what to do about it...

I have been reading books on parenting. It suggested asking them if they understand instead of chance to say NO. So I tried it...it works but the book never said what to do when they do say NO. Especially when it is something you know they understand-like pick up your toys.

The things Jack has been saying lately that humor me

watch me, you watch me
no monsters in der?
I'm (fill in the blank: fireman, superman, etc) you (fill in the blank)
That's my favorite
You my friend? He's my friend.
My broder sleeping, bit, (which means spit up....I kept tell him Ryan can't bite yet) crying, etc.

Ryan is growing like a weed. He is not even four months yet and he is starting to bust out of 6 month clothes. He also has so many fat rolls in his chin he has what can only be called a diaper rash between the rolls. =( He is starting to coo and laugh constantly which is so fun to watch. He is so good natured.

All in all I am feeling completely blessed.

7-12 Thing that are cute and funny now

2009-07-13T17:44:00.000-07:00

May not be as funny or cute in 10-15 years.

We have several close friends that their children are close in age to Jack and Ryan. We have spent tons of time together with the kids and they play very well together and they in turn are pretty close. This past weekend we found ourselves laughing because we realized these children will be life-long friends and these behaviors may not be funny later.

They take baths together, all six of them have seen each other naked multiple times. After bath they partake in streaking through my house.
Being helpful Jack and Alex tried to catch a naked Andi and hold her so she could get her diaper on.
Jack was lifting Anderson's shirt to kiss her belly, then Anders on lifted her own shirt so he could kiss her belly.
I was defending Jack because he was kissing and hugging all his friends and they were tired so they were getting tired. Tom yelled at Jack and I said "He is just being affectionate." I was reminded by our friends that when Jack is a teenager and I walk in on him with his friends he may try to use "I was just being affectionate."

Needless to say they keep us entertained.

another day in the neighborhood -7-10

2009-07-10T17:16:00.001-07:00

So we are currently in the midst of potty training. So there is a lot of talking about potty going on.

The last night Tom and Jack were in the bathroom. Jack had been in a pull up and doing pretty well. From the bathroom I overhear this conversation.

Poo-poo goes in the potty! Not in your pants, not on the floor! In the potty!!. Tom
Poo-poo goes in the potty?? ~Jack
That's right, poo-poo potty. Not pants, not floor. Where does poo-poo go?
Poo-poo goes in the potty.

It's Friday night and we are hanging out at home. I have been with the boys all day and been a good mom, we went to the park and the mall, and I played with them all day so I am currently being hands off while Daddy takes point. Meanwhile I cannot help laughing.

Tom is playing with the dog and the rope, he accidentally pops Ryan in the face. Ryan immediately begins screaming. Jack goes over to the dog and preceeds to tell her
"NOT NICE CASEY, you go Time out."

7-8

2009-07-08T19:53:00.000-07:00

A pretty typical day, Jack went to daycare so Ryan and I got to sleep in. Which was very enjoyable. I took time to enjoy my little guy....boy is he growing and way too fast.

Jack's priceless moment was to wave a broom like a sword and say "Daddy you go sleepy now!"

More moments of motherhood

2009-07-07T17:06:00.000-07:00

As I read through my parent’s magazine there was a snippet where they suggested writing down daily memories because your children grow up too fast and the things they say are precious etc...

In college I had a book that I wrote down the date and funny things people said so this idea was definitely something I was interested in. I figured rather than buy a journal (which I may still do) this was as good a place as any to log those Memories/moments.

6/22 My mom and I were taking the boys to my grandma's. I began singing along with the song. Mom and Jack were too. Jack announces "NOT you Mommy, only me and Shorty." My mother of course busts out laughing hysterically because when I was Jack's age I was a complete beast and would not let my mother or Grandmother sing to me. Apparently there is karma.
6/23 Jack decided fresh strawberries were the best and didn't mind if they were washed.
6/29 We take Uncle Tim to the airport for him to fly home to Florida. It was a long weekend and Jack fell asleep before we got to the airport so he did not get to say goodbye. He woke up when we were almost at the mall "Where Tim go?" I proceeded to tell him that Uncle Tim got on the airplane to go back to Florida. Jack began bawling...."I want him, Tim come back, no go Florida, etc." He seriously cried for about 15-20 minutes. Once we got to the mall we were doing some shopping when I got a phone call. Uncle Tim missed his flight. Great now he is going to think he can throw a fit and Uncle Tim will come back at any time. =)
6/30 On our way to the smokey mountains, or "MOKEY MnTains" Jack calls from the backseat I GO POTTY. Then promptly says I need fresh diaper...ya think?
7/1 Ryan earns the nickname Possum. Literally every time we lay him down to sleep he opens up those big BLUE eyes and smiles.
7/2 My sons take after their father. Jack "tooted" today and laughed. Ryan got laid down to sleep, of which he promptly woke up, smiled, lifted his leg and ripped a MAN fart. Yep, the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree.
7/6 My boss asked me to come in and help with a master schedule. He told me that it was fine to bring the boys. So I did. As we are discussing school business, Jack announces I go poop, not once but about three different times. Professional huh?
7/7 Today I had to take the boys to the pediatrician. They both had ear infections which made for AWESOME moods on every bodies part. Let me tell you days like today make me realize why some animals eat their young. The cute thing was as Jack tried to play with the equipment in the doctor’s office, he told me "Not you Mommy, only doctors, not me, only doctors." Yes Jack that is right, as you pull out the stirrups that women love to put their legs in.

Moments of motherhood

2009-06-16T17:36:00.000-07:00

Being a mom has taken a hold of EVERYTHING and there are things I have neglected, like excercise, cleaning, adult conversation, sleep, sometimes a shower....and blogging. =) Thanks to a very special cousin/friend and friend to make more of an effort for those things. Plus nobody likes me when I smell and I'm tired. =) Thus tonights post.....

Living with a two year old is entertaining. He has given us several gems lately that I am sure we will remind him of when he is older.

I am currently breastfeeding his younger brother. Now we have tried to explain that to him, he just doesn't get it. He insists that his brother is eating my arm and when ever Ryan is done eating he will innocently say "You arm empty?"

He was playing with his Joseph, Mary and Baby Jesus (who had just been released from the prison of bad toys...on top of the refrigerator, that is another whole story.) I was busy trying to do things without his "help." When I heard him say "Time out Joseph." I came back down stairs and Joseph was sitting on the naughty step. "Is Joseph in timeout?" Jack nodded emphatically. "What did he do?" I asked. "He pushd Baby Jesus." Well enough said....

I was busy in the kitchen when I noticed Jack had Ryan's bottle in his mouth. Ryan had drank all but about a 1/2 an ounce. I asked him if he was drinking Ryan's bottle. He said yep! I said "You did?" somewhat surprised. He smiles and says "It's yummy!" - I'm thinking it was hard enough to wean this kid the first time, the last thing I need is him stealing breast milk from his baby brother. =)

Tonight we were on our way home and he calls "Mommy" from the backseat. I turned around and his face is beat red and in his deepest most strained monster like voice he says "I go POTTY!" While laughing I asked you have to go or you did? He answers-shocker- "I did!" I preceed to laugh and then when I finally catch my breath I said "sh&%" Tom responds with "exactly" and Jack says "sure"

At least there is never a dull moment. =)

Things I love

2009-03-12T17:44:00.000-07:00

I had a dentist appointment the other day. After I was leaving I realized:

I love all the typical thing that people love like my family, friends, blah, blah, blah, but there are also a bunch of completely random things that make me happy!!

I love the feeling of clean teeth, I mean really clean...dentist clean, teeth.
I love getting a haircut, color, etc. You look better than any time you ever do your hair yourself.
I love the feeling of cold sheets and the smell of clean sheets
I love new socks!
I love slurpees. I once swore if I ever one the lottery the first thing I would buy would be a slurpee machine. I don't know if it would still be the first thing but it would be in the top 10.
I love chewing ice
I love shamrock shakes, they only make them in March so that is the only time I can have them and I DO induldge! =)
I love a really good laugh-for me that is the kind that I stop breathing, snort, and gasp for air.
I love having a clean house...especially if I didn't clean it.
I love sleeping in!!

The list could go on and on but for now this crazy girl is done. =)

Random musings

2009-03-04T06:46:00.000-08:00

So I have to apologize to my "readers" =) I thought you would all laugh at me and how ridiculous I am in the department of mommy-hood. Apparently I grossed most of you out. So sorry!

On other topics, I spent $10 at the gas station the week of conferences. I loaded up with various candies to get me through..plus I didn't know what I wanted. In my top desk drawer I had two snickers bars, one with almonds, one regular, a package of oreos, a dove bar, and some skittles. (There used to be peanut M& M's and junior mints too but I ate those.) Today I went to tap into my stash and the snickers and oreos were GONE!!! Now I know I didn't eat them and I know a mouse was not that picky. Why would you mess with a pregnant ladies goodies?? Have you no heart?

Adventures in potty training

2009-03-03T05:19:00.000-08:00

Those who know me, know I have a pretty weak gag reflex. Some of my friends in particular enjoyed watching shows like Fear factor with me because they are so humored by my gagging. I am the type that gets a contact "puke", now with that being said I start the adventures in potty training.

My son showed an early interest in potty training, we were all about it, especially with a new baby on the way. We immediately bought the potty seat that sits on the regular toilet. That way I didn't have to clean it out, look at it, etc... He wasn't quite as interested. My husband commented that he thought we needed the traditional potty seat, offering to do all the cleaning of the potty. I agreed and we bought the "gross" kiddie potty..although it plays music and looks like a king's throne. Since Jack has really taken offf...literally. He asks to go potty constantly and takes his own pants and diaper off FREQUENTLY. He has had quite a bit of success but we still don't have the timing down just right.

This weekend we had friends over helping to build our basement. Jack said "Potty mommy," So I took him in. Immediatley it was stinky and I thought it was left-overs from someone else's trip, so I lit a candle. Well eventually Jack stood up and saw the "UCKKY" in his potty. I immediatley began attempting to wipe him...he would not stand still because he wanted to get away from the uckky. Well that made two of us, but the more I wiped the more that came. I immediatley began gagging as I was trying to clean up my son and scream "Jack stand still." My friends in the living room began cracking up. (Now another fun thing about me is when people laugh it tends to make me laugh...harder) I shouted stop "I'll pee my pants." Well that set them off, needless to say that ended with Leslie finishing getting Jack together and me running to the next bathroom.

Today I stayed home with Jack because he has the cough from hell. Shortly after he ate he said "Mommy poopy." So into the bathroom we went. He sat on the toilet for a while and nothing, suddenly he stood up and two very solid little turds fell out. I quickly made him sit back down....he was saying "Ewww" all the while. Meanwhile the rest of his waste started coming out while he kept standing and I kept trying to sit him back down. He would not stand in the bathroom for me to wipe him up and I really couldn't stand it either since it was all over the seat at this point, so I was gagging and Jack was headed up the stairs with an un-clean bottom. Well it hit me and I began to puke, I didn't want to puke on the stairs or carpet so I ran back into the bathroom. Meanwhile Jack sits down on the stairs and begins to cry. I come out, make him stand up and navigate around the "stair" I get him upstairs and clean him up and put on a diaper. Meanwhile Tom wakes up.

"Honey....Jack went potty, I puked, and there is a mess downstairs on his potty and on the stairs." Needless to say I am a lucky woman because he took care of the rest of the mishaps.

I don't know how much more of this I can take. =)

Career choice

2009-02-17T06:27:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I question my career choice. I enjoy teaching but .........there are days that McDonalds or Walmart are looking pretty good.

I can tolerate dumb but lazy infuriates me.
If you don't get it I will help you but don't just put stupid things to be done. THINK!!!

Random musings

2009-02-13T06:26:00.000-08:00

Okay I should probably change the name to random musings of a crazy lady since this is what my blogs always seem to be but it is theraputic in a warped way.

I enjoy making students cry. I am not sure why. It is sick and twisted. I was a kid that cried (well I still am) at the drop of a hat. But as a teacher when they do something naughty it gives me such satisifaction to see the tears.

A student was walking up the stairs. She is rather large...shrek like if you will....and in a class for emotional impairments so she is special. Her entire booty was hanging out the top of her pants. Luckily it was covered by a t-shirt. I commented to pull your pants up. Then I got a look at the front..... Have you ever tried on a pair of pants that were tight in the legs but you got them up but there was NO way in the WORLD they were going to get zipped or buttoned? Well that was the issue with this child's pants. They were hanging wide open in the front, then looking at the legs I am not sure how she got into them...now I understand why were were hanging out the back. As I am making all these observations she comments to me "Is you pregnant?"
Smiling "Yes I am." I guess she was making observations too. =)

February is the longest month of the year. I don't care if it is the shortest one in days , it seems long!!! I hate the programs that are crammed down our throats in February and I hate the weather. I want spring!!

Today we were given numbers at school for a fun valentines day activity. I think my number was rigged and that is all that I am saying. =)

Mondays

2009-02-02T06:46:00.000-08:00

I am not a big fan of Mondays. The weekends go super quick no matter what, you drag your butt in and there you go...Whoo-hoo

This is how my morning started at about 4:30.
"Mama, Mama!"
I walk into my darling son's room. "What's wrong baby?"
"Be-be go?" (Which is Jack for my binky fell out of my mouth and I would now like it)
I turned on the lamp, "Look for it while mommy goes potty." Because now the very first thing I have to do upon waking up is pee like a race horse.
"No!!! and the screaming crying begins."
I go take care of business and go back into Jack's room.
I lay down with him and promptly find be-be and hand it to him.
"Mama snuggle! " I was commanded
So I snuggle in ready to catch a few more zzz's when I realize the bed is wet and so are Jack's pajamas.
I promptly explain and we quickly go change our diaper which was acceptable. However he did NOT want to take his pajamas off. That was when the screaming started and continued the entire time I got him re-dressed. Then he was more upset when we did not go back to "Jack's bed" and he wanted nothing to do with "daddy's bed or daddy".

Needless to say it was quite the process. However I did get to work a little early for a change. I am afriad my dislike for Monday's might be genetic because my son sure didn't seem in the mood this morning either. =)

Manic Monday

2009-01-26T16:04:00.000-08:00

As I type this my living room and kitchen is still filled with smoke. My husband woke me up this morning at 6:00. I have to leave my house by 6:20 at the LATEST in order to get to work on time. I got into my car at 6:28 and of course was late...as I walked into school I hummed just "Another Manic Monday." That was my theme for the day....

I did not seem to be alone, several of my friends seemed to be having one of those days too.

When I got home Tom asked what I wanted for dinner. I have entered the third trimester which does weird things to the appetite, I eat because I have to but generally nothing really sounds good to me. Tom was starving. "How about the popcorn shrimp?"
"Ummm not for me but go ahead, I think I am going to have a grilled peanut butter."
While fixing dinner I completely inhaled a whole bag of grapes. Tom decided to fry his shrimp because it would be faster. Upon putting the shrimp in the pan it turned completely BLACK and filled the kitchen with smoke. Then it melted the spoon he was using, I mean MELTED. I managed to burn one grilled peanut butter so take two. The second sandwich snapped the spatula in half. Needless to say we should have ordered a pizza.

I am glad that this Monday is coming to an end. =)

Random musings of a crazy woman

2009-01-23T04:25:00.000-08:00

My mind this morning is spinning like a top but not neccessarrily about anything in particular. So I decided to blog...plus it sounds like more fun that working on the MOUND of stuff that I have to do on my desk.

It's Friday! TGIF, it has been a LONG week. Granted we didn't have school on Monday but it was a long week.
Sleeping, I do very little of it, lately. Partly because I can't get comfortable and the other part is I am up constantly to pee. I also am I "hot" sleeper normally. Now that Duece is cooking right along I am getting hotter and hotter. To accomodate for this I have become a bed hopper. I literally change beds throughout the night looking for cold sheets. Once I am in a cold bed, I'm out for a little while. This may be putting a small damper on my marriage....or at least my husband's favorite part of the marriage but hey what's a girl going to do. Plus as much as I love snuggling it's way more comfortable to have a bed to yourself.
A good friend is our school social worker. We always joke that some people think that she does nothing but get mannie's and pedi's all day. As a special education teacher, I have realized that some people think that of me. That or they think I have the kids coloring, sorting crayons, making pot-holders and licking paste. ---- Just for references I do try to teach. I realize that they may not learn a lot, it may not be quality, but damn it we're trying. =)
Keeping my pants up. As my "many" readers know I have trouble keeping my pants up. Some will say it is because I have no butt. I guess I agree. I had to buy a new pair of maternity jeans because my jeans from when I was pregnant with Jack will NOT stay up to save my life. These new ones were perfect. So I bought a second pair, EXACTLY the same!!!! And you know what?? They will not stay up!!!!! When does a girl get a break?

I suppose I should get to work now. Oh and by the way, my oldest child made another train extravaganza last night.

Little boys

2009-01-21T05:57:00.000-08:00

I love my husband but sometimes he is like a little kid. Case in point ...this is what he did after Jack went to bed. I am not going to have two boys I have three!

In honor of Megan

2008-12-08T06:58:00.000-08:00

I did not write this but it is just tooo funny!

To any female who ever thought about addressing the bikini line…yeah…
All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now... the wax... My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home, fix dinner, played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm, you peel them apart, press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off. No mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly girl, but I am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out.

*YA THINK?!!!* So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end. (Oh how this phrase haunts me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-Ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure I apply the wax strip across the right side of bikini line, covering the right half of my nether regionsand stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace myself.

RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. Crap!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly and spotted! Do I hear crashing drums???
OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip, that has caused me so much pain, with hair sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair?? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair... the hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. Crap! The most sensitive part of my body, is now covered in cold wax and matted hair!

Then I make the next BIG mistake...................remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. NOOO!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door. Nether region? Sealed shut. Butt?? Sealed shut. I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off" Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right???*WRONG!!!!!!!*I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!

God bless the man that convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her! I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH RIGHT!!!! Like I'm going to be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your nether regions covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me when I discover the saving grace... the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really don't care.
"IT WORKS!! It works!!

I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.................................. THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......................ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So Ishaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.Next week I'm going to try hair color...... Blond I think!

Pregnacy

2008-12-05T06:53:00.000-08:00

As my dedicated readers know =) I am with child. With that comes a variety of "fun" things.

1. I smell things that should not be smelled. Most people notice stuff but my sniffer is on super duty.

This morning I walked down the hall near 2e's room and it smelled like vomit.
One of my students sitting next to me smelled like urine
I walked into a classroom and said "What is that smell?" the teacher quickly laughed explained someone had farted. Nice and I could still smell it.

2. I have become slightly more sensitive (or at least I did) and they set me off either making me furious or want to cry.

Some little stinker said "You aint pregnant you just fat."
Another vile little thing asked "Who the baby daddy?"
My husband didn't get the diapers or dinner like I had asked.
The nurse when trying to find my utureus commented that I was "fluffy"

News flash people hormones are on a high alert. I know that I have extra baggage!!! But is it too much to ask to be nice?? A little more sensitive??? Well on the positive side only 20 more weeks of this.

Random musings of a Black Friday shopper

2008-12-01T09:29:00.000-08:00

My family has always gotten up at the crack of dawn and gone shopping the day after Thanksgiving. I remember my mom waking me up at Grandma's, "Are you coming with us or not?" The answer was always yes. I would quick shower, get dressed and off we went. One year I was home from college. My mom and I got up SUPER early to get in line at Best Buy. They had some ridiculous buy on TV's and DVD players. Once we got in, I slept in the care till mom checked out.

Last year I suggested it to my husband. Money was tight (as always) and I said "We might be able to save a little." Well we bundled Jack up and off we went. It was pretty successful and he did really well. But knowing he is almost two shopping with him was out of the question. So Grandma Shorty to the rescue. Tom and I got up at 3:00 and were at Kohls by 4:00 when it opened.

This year I noticed several things.

People seemed to be more polite and accepting of the fact that others were shopping.
It is never acceptable to go out in public in pajama pants. For goodness sakes put on some sweats!!! I am okay with pony-tails, hats, sweat-shirts, etc. But DO not look like you could still be in bed. That's gross.
Parents will do just about anything for their kids, including standing in hour or more lines to buy the perfect gift.
X-Mas has gotten very expensive.

Letting it go

2008-10-30T18:09:00.000-07:00

So I hate when I know there are people that don't like me or are even mad at me.

I have had a parent call and complain about me twice now. Apparently I am mean and all I do is yell. Now I will admit I get after this child but it is because it is needed, but I don't think I really YELL at him. When venting to friends they reminded me that this is not really someone that their opinion ranks HIGH on the list. YET this makes me crazy.

I also had someone who I considered to be a very good friend, stop talking to me. I kind of figured it was because I had some how inadvertingly hurt their feelings. Although I know I didn't do it intentionally. So I reached out today hoping that either my gut was wrong or she told me. Well she did. I had said something insensitive. I didn't say it to her, I said it on facebook. I apologized but I feel absolutely horrible.

My mouth has gotten me into trouble before. My emotions get me into trouble. How do I get myself out of it. AND how do I stop feeling guilty? There are lots of people that can just let things roll off their back. I am not one of those people but I wish I could be!!

My hair

2008-10-27T06:21:00.000-07:00

So in my attempt to save money this weekend, I Miss Clarliol'ed my hair. Generally I go to a salon and get highlights, I wanted an all over color until Duece comes along. So I thought why not. I bought a brown with red tints, thought it would look pretty natural.
Well thank god I only left it on for 10 minutes because I look like bozo the clown. It is red, I don't mean a little red, I mean RED! I cried when I first got out of the shower. My husband responded with "It doesn't look that bad." I have decided to embrace it...well kind of. I am washing it with Prell, which will strip the color.

As I walked the hallways today I got mixed reviews.
1. "Hey Red! " ~Eric Petro
2. "Cute hair." Suzy and Arin
3. Did you see Mrs. Fisher died her hair? ~two sixth grade boys as they laughed
4. Mrs. Fisher? ~ Nia with her eyes BUGGING out of her head.
5. "You're hair is red-cool! " ~Gage
6. Why did you do that? ~ Alexis
7. Check you out, sassy. ~ 2e

So I am taking it in stride, enough adult women seemed to think it looked okay. Middleschoolers have no fashion anyway.

life with a toddler

2008-10-19T16:42:00.000-07:00

So everyday is a new adventure...or at least a comic episode. The following are just two examples of how our weekend went.

Jack has taken an interest in "potty", which I am in favor of. I potty-trained early so my hope is that my son is not like most boys and is easily potty trained. He has yet to actually use the potty however he has been telling us after he does his business and then asks for the potty. SO we have been indulging. He also has been making sure that his doll "Franky" goes potty too. Which generally means he takes Franky's very expensive diapers off, takes him in the bathroom and holds him over the toilet. He then wipes Franky's crotch with toilet paper and throws it in the toilet. He has done this several times. My mistake was leaving him unattended in the bathroom so I could call Tom in to see how cute this was. When I arrived back in the bathroom, literally 2 seconds later, Franky was fully submerged in the toilet! When I said "What are you doing? Franky doesn't go IN the potty." Jack looked up at me with those sweet innocent eyes and said "Baff."

Then today we decided that we should go to church. Jack was being very good, sitting by himself. But he is in this independent stage in which he constantly says "No mama, me." This translates to "I want to do it by myself." So like all good Catholic masses we were up and down, so Jack of course had to get up and down from the pew all by himself. I am sure all of you can imagine where this is going....well he lost his balance and did a perfect fact plant on the leg of the kneeler. He now has a huge purple bruise on his right cheek. But after the crying stopped we went back in. When we were kneeling, he of course had to do it too. I was trying to hold on to him so that he didn't fall again. I swear he said "I fine, mama." as he pushed my hands away. I of course still hovered but would you expect any less?

Needless to say my sweet little boy is very independent and smart. Pray for me! =)

2008-10-13T10:28:00.000-07:00

Okay I literally just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

How do you not know that your nose is completely surrounded by dried boogers? How does it not feel disgusting? Why is it like that? Why should I be the one to point this out?

EWWWWWW. I am sitting next to one of my students and his nose is crusted with boogers. Now my son gets them but he isn't even two! This kid is a fourth grader!! And to make matters worse his nails are black, not a little line of dirt under them but black!!!

A bath is calling someones name, I just hope they hear it.

fashion

2008-10-07T06:58:00.000-07:00

Those dedicated readers you know that I am with child. I am at that weirdo stage where although I am starting to look pregnant, I don't. I just look fat. Now as a big girl, looking fat is never a good thing. So at all cost I try to avoid that. I have thought of wearing a sign "No, I am not just gaining weight again. There's a baby cooking." But I have opted for no sign.

A good friend reminded me today that it could be worse. You see I teach in a middleschool. The middleschool is a great place to spot fashion mistakes. There was a young lady who is "chubby", her shirt was soo short her fat roll hung out the bottom. Another girl had on solid gold dancer, gold spandex, under way TOOO short shorts. Jeans so tight they can't move have also been spotted lately.

I guess at least I have an excuse! =)

trying my patience

2008-09-16T17:21:00.000-07:00

So I have entered the world of special education. I have always enjoyed the LD little buggers because they march to a different beat. BUT I will tell you what when you are spending all day with them and just them it is whole different ball game.
One of my little darlings shouted out in class the first week of school "Am I in special ed or not?" Oh yes baby you are!
The same little angel today was trying my patience, actually he has been since about day 3. During ELA I told my students they had to write 2 complete sentences before they could leave for lunch. (Now I know 2 sentences sounds like nothing but I am telling you that was asking for a lot.) "Joey" right away stated "I'm done."
"Let me see. No you are not, you have to write two sentences."
"I did."
"She didn't want a brother, is only one sentence. You need two."
"You don't have to get smart with me."

Excuse me...since when is correcting a student getting smart with them. You my darling are trying my patience. (I of course didn't say this but I wanted to say much, much more. Thank goodness for filters.)

PUMPING

2008-09-13T07:35:00.001-07:00

As I am impending on the next big adventure....Deuce. I was reminded by a friend about my "favorite" past-time pumping.
Now granted a woman has the choice to buy formula or use the girls. For my first son I used the girls. I had read all the articles about how good it was for the baby, my friends were doing it, it was "natural", etc. The bottom line for me became the bottom line (my husband is wearing off on me). Formula is expensive and if I pumped, we saved money. I figured the money I saved from pumping entitled me to buy myself and Jack treats. Thus the "pumping" adventure began.
My little bugger didn't want to do things naturally at first so all I could do was pump. During this year I became a master at the activity. I did it everywhere.
The black bag became my personal sidekick. I managed to do it under my shirt so the only thing you could see was Madonna like protruding objects and of course my hands there and the "shish, shish, shish" for the entire period. I once pumped during a meeting. Granted it was all ladies, I said I have to take a break and they suggested I just do it there. SOOO we continued to conduct business ad mist the shish,shish, shish. I had countless conversations with friends on the phone. "Are you pumping?" I graded papers while doing this. I sat at my desk working on report cards. That time the custodian walked in and then walked right back out... Another time I sat in the ladies room, on the floor because my battery pack had died and that was the only plug. My friends from college died in hysterics when we were on the way to a bachlorette party in Canada and I pumped. I pumped in my car, friends cars, and a bus. I even pumped while I was driving one time. Needless to say my modesty went out the window and pumping was my life.
I was reminded of this by a friend who shared that someone was on a field trip and had to take their pump. I laughed and smiled at the thought of it. Then I realized I am going to have to do it all again!!!

Arch nemesis

2008-09-10T14:57:00.000-07:00

I have decided I have an arch nemesis.

In super hero fashion an arch nemesis goes out of the way to "thwart" the heroes plan, destroy them and generally ruin life for them.
Now I am far from being a super hero. However being a teacher does require you to tap into "super powers" such as seeing the good in things, miraculously doing more than one thing at a time, seeing all around you, and over course super strength to juggle it all.
When you have an arch nemesis in the "Teacher world" they aren't necessarily evil but annoying to the max. However I have to say that I would like to use my super powers to throw her off the building, turn her into ice and rid the world of the annoyance. However that would not be super hero-like. I know I should hope that I can bring them around from the dark side......

Not gonna happen, at least not for a while. =)

day 1 life as a special ed teacher

2008-09-02T11:41:00.000-07:00

So after nine years of freaking out and fretting over the first day of school, I think it may have ended. Or at least for a little while. As a resource room teacher the general ed teachers don't want me to take their kids. They want them to get used to them. Although they were all very welcoming it was weird because it never felt like I should be there. With all that said it was an easy day, I walked around and floated in and out of rooms.
I cannot say I have had an easier day....ever!!
I know it won't last so I won't hold my breath but so far so good. On the other hand I miss the craziness, the need to be DOING....
We shall see.

stories

2008-08-25T18:27:00.000-07:00

Okay so in my classroom when I explain my rules, procedures, etc. to my students I have stories that correlate to some of them. For example:
1. I do not allow my students to chew gum.
The reasoning is because Jimmy Kaufmann stuck gum in my hair and we couldn't get it out, I had to get my LONG hair cut and it scarred me for life. This story is true.
2. I do not let my students tip in their chairs.
Reasoning: A kid tipped over in his chair, hit his head on a heater and bled all over the place and I hate blood. ~Not true but could happen.
3. I do not let my student bounce their pencils.
Reasoning: Charlie did it in third grade and the pencil got stuck in his eye and he had to get a glass eye. ~Not true but it could happen.

Now I have been using stories like this for the last few years and most of my friends and colleagues know about this practice. Some of them laugh at me, while others admire my brillance. =) I am quite sure my husband may have heard me tell these stories too..........

Tonight I was very upset because I am an overprotective mom and I do not think that dad should mow the grass and watch a toddler at the same time. Now when I explained my reasoning I punctuated it with the story of a kid in elementary school whose dad accidentally cut off his son's foot.

I am glad I don't have to provide documentation and that is all I am saying.

2008-07-30T13:43:00.000-07:00

Okay so I probably shouldn't blog this BUT I figure this is my little area to vent, etc. Plus anybody that knows me, knows I am pretty open. SO... here it is.

The other night my husband was touching himself. When I realized it I responded with "Are you touching yourself? DON'T you are going to get yourself all riled up!" His response was priceless.
"It was cold!" Followed by you don't usually care when I am riled up." =) And at the time I was just wasn't feeling it.
I shared this conversation with a friend ( my favorite blogger) and she came up with the following list of better excuses for him.
1. I'm checking for lumps.
2. I'm using my other brain.
3. My hands are cold.
4. I'm doing my bridges (an exercise I've got to do, actually, but not typically under covers, completely naked).
5. I'm checking for static electricity under the covers.
6. I'm playing tiddlywinks.
7. I'm playing "here's the church and here's the steeple."
8. I'm solving world peace.
9. I'm solving world hunger.
10. I'm working on a cure for cancer.

But the saga doesn't end there. The other night it happened again. I asked him "Is it cold again?"
"Nope it just feels good."
I should know better!!!!

Worst ways to be broken up with

2008-07-30T13:31:00.000-07:00

Okay so a friend of mine has definitely made the list. I also feel that one of my break ups makes that list...so I thought it was worthy of a blog.

1. Just leaving, not saying a word
2. A post-it note (Carrie Bradshaw-and Berger Sex in the City)
3. An email (myself being dumped by Mike Miller)
4. Text message (Forbes while on vacation)
5. Voice mail (sorry to say ....I did that to someone else but I was drunk)
6. Phone call
7. The one that goes on and on and on.

Regardless the break up stage sucks. And I am glad to say that I am past that write now and HOPEFULLY forever =)

fertitility, life, etc

2008-07-17T19:37:00.001-07:00

SO three of my best friends are all pregnant. They are also due within 2 weeks of each other. I should be super happy for them but I am so crushed that I am not. Horrible right? The funny thing is that we all planned to try to be pregnant at the same time. Just didn't happen for me.
Guess better luck next time.

Prozac Nation

2008-07-14T13:02:00.001-07:00

So I am willing to admit that I have been among the medicated since 03, which is quite a long time. My doctor recommended that come summer I might try to go off my anti-depressant since I was on such a low dose and I seemed to be doing well. I thought about it and thought..no way. I know I am crazy and the medicine helps me be well less crazy and I really didn't want to go back to feeling as crappy as I once did. With that being said, it's summer.

I am not in a routine so to speak so I have forgotten to take my medicine pretty frequently. After realizing that it had been a week I consciously decided to try to live with out. So far so good I haven't hurt anyone or myself =) but now anytime I am annoyed, bugged, insecure, etc I don't know if I am justified or if it the lack of the extra serotonin (or shoudl I say the normal amount that the medication provided) in my brain.

Needless to say this constant questioning my make me go back on. =)

Bugged

2008-07-09T12:39:00.000-07:00

Okay in my randomness I started a facebook page. I of course was enjoying all the little doo-dad's etc on which. I discovered through a friends page a former friend who I hooked up with a little in my single days. This individual at one point and time responded to a forward with "Never contact me again." Which was a little out of character but I figured whatever dude.

So time goes by and I see this cat and I do the proverbial friend request. I figure if he doesn't approve me he really meant that....well I was approved. So in a short message I asked how things were and gave him the "What was up with the never contact me-you could have said you didn't like the forward." He responded with the general stuff and also said that it would have been his wife that wrote that, she had left him, stole $26,000 from their checking account and to feel free to contact him.

Now keep in mind that I was not contacting him for more than anything than to say Hi, hows it going etc. I mentioned to the mutual friend this correspondence. She e-d him to say "I'm sorry things aren't going well, etc." (He had made the fact that he and his wife were having problems public in the "What's new section of facebook.) Well the wife emailed my friend and went off about how she didn't know how he was and that he had an affair with ME. Now when we were enjoying each other he told me they were on a break and even if they weren't I don't think a casual hook-up constitutes an affair. Plus did he tell her that? It was 5 years ago....

Then I come home from vacation and he had un-friended me! I am really annoyed by that. I guess because it makes me feel like either she or he or both thought I was going to make a move or something. WHICH I WAS NOT!! We were friends, had things in common, etc. I am happily married which is more than I can say for him. I shouldn't care, I know I am being irrational but I just can't help being bugged.

I guess the moral of the story is those online look up old friends are better left alone.

Life is a Highway...

2008-06-28T22:54:00.001-07:00

and sometimes it's a nice drive, others you are stuck in traffic or hit a roadblock.

My good friend Megan has been blogging for sometime now. It seems to be almost therapeutic for her. I keep thinking that I need to be writing more. Lucy Caulkins says to teach it you have to do it. So...at 1:30 A.M I decided to try to take my mind off the horrible screaming match my husband I just had. So here I am.

Today I was told I could be George Carlin's daughter the way my thoughts are sometimes random and jump from one thing to the next. I guess that isn't too bad of a comment.
That was said after I asked, "If a girl has a sex change and becomes a guy can she/he have an erection? Or does it just stay hard all the time." Which was promptly answered with "How the heck should I know."
Then I proceeded to ask "Do you think they gave Baby Bear (of Sesame Street) a speech impediment on purpose?"

My friends and I went to dinner, had cocktails and then bowling. (The cocktails could have contributed to the screaming match but who knows) During conversation "The one that got a way." was mentioned. I realized I don't know if I have one, I guess I am lucky and caught the only one I really wanted to keep. But I think it would be nice to be thought of like that. Huh? I wonder if anyone thought of me like that.

Now for the fight. We were getting ready to leave the bowling alley at 11:30. A young woman walked in with friends and a baby about 6 months old. I pointed it out and my husband shook his head. I stated "that is too late for a baby that age to be out." He nodded. BUT then we get in the car. He proceeds to tell me I shouldn't pass judgement on someone, I don't know the circumstances. Okay yes, thank god she didn't leave the baby alone but I think when you choose to have a baby you choose to give up certain things. Like going out at a certain time with your child. (ours had a sitter) I guess the thing that got me fired up was he said "I didn't have the right to pass judgement or put my moral views on someone else." I didn't call CPS, I didn't holler at the bimbo, I commented to him. Now this is the same man who calls any parent without a phone a "crack head" but it was acceptable for her to do because it's not any worse than us taking our son to a restaurant at 8:00 where there is smoke.
Eventually we came to an agreement. He is an engineer; so there are things he knows more about like gravity, magnetism, electricity, etc. I don't try to argue about such things. Therefore I don't think he should try to tell a woman with two masters degrees in education and a extensive knowledge of child development. Am I wrong?

Hmmm, Megan may be on to something. I am feeling much better. I think my husband was drunk and dumb. I think I am right. I think I need sleep. Excuse the random thoughts of a crazy woman but this is my first crack at it. =)