Adventures in potty training

Those who know me, know I have a pretty weak gag reflex. Some of my friends in particular enjoyed watching shows like Fear factor with me because they are so humored by my gagging. I am the type that gets a contact "puke", now with that being said I start the adventures in potty training.

My son showed an early interest in potty training, we were all about it, especially with a new baby on the way. We immediately bought the potty seat that sits on the regular toilet. That way I didn't have to clean it out, look at it, etc... He wasn't quite as interested. My husband commented that he thought we needed the traditional potty seat, offering to do all the cleaning of the potty. I agreed and we bought the "gross" kiddie potty..although it plays music and looks like a king's throne. Since Jack has really taken offf...literally. He asks to go potty constantly and takes his own pants and diaper off FREQUENTLY. He has had quite a bit of success but we still don't have the timing down just right.

This weekend we had friends over helping to build our basement. Jack said "Potty mommy," So I took him in. Immediatley it was stinky and I thought it was left-overs from someone else's trip, so I lit a candle. Well eventually Jack stood up and saw the "UCKKY" in his potty. I immediatley began attempting to wipe him...he would not stand still because he wanted to get away from the uckky. Well that made two of us, but the more I wiped the more that came. I immediatley began gagging as I was trying to clean up my son and scream "Jack stand still." My friends in the living room began cracking up. (Now another fun thing about me is when people laugh it tends to make me laugh...harder) I shouted stop "I'll pee my pants." Well that set them off, needless to say that ended with Leslie finishing getting Jack together and me running to the next bathroom.

Today I stayed home with Jack because he has the cough from hell. Shortly after he ate he said "Mommy poopy." So into the bathroom we went. He sat on the toilet for a while and nothing, suddenly he stood up and two very solid little turds fell out. I quickly made him sit back down....he was saying "Ewww" all the while. Meanwhile the rest of his waste started coming out while he kept standing and I kept trying to sit him back down. He would not stand in the bathroom for me to wipe him up and I really couldn't stand it either since it was all over the seat at this point, so I was gagging and Jack was headed up the stairs with an un-clean bottom. Well it hit me and I began to puke, I didn't want to puke on the stairs or carpet so I ran back into the bathroom. Meanwhile Jack sits down on the stairs and begins to cry. I come out, make him stand up and navigate around the "stair" I get him upstairs and clean him up and put on a diaper. Meanwhile Tom wakes up.

"Honey....Jack went potty, I puked, and there is a mess downstairs on his potty and on the stairs." Needless to say I am a lucky woman because he took care of the rest of the mishaps.

I don't know how much more of this I can take. =)

Career choice

Sometimes I question my career choice. I enjoy teaching but .........there are days that McDonalds or Walmart are looking pretty good.

I can tolerate dumb but lazy infuriates me.
If you don't get it I will help you but don't just put stupid things to be done. THINK!!!

Random musings

Okay I should probably change the name to random musings of a crazy lady since this is what my blogs always seem to be but it is theraputic in a warped way.

I enjoy making students cry. I am not sure why. It is sick and twisted. I was a kid that cried (well I still am) at the drop of a hat. But as a teacher when they do something naughty it gives me such satisifaction to see the tears.

A student was walking up the stairs. She is rather large...shrek like if you will....and in a class for emotional impairments so she is special. Her entire booty was hanging out the top of her pants. Luckily it was covered by a t-shirt. I commented to pull your pants up. Then I got a look at the front..... Have you ever tried on a pair of pants that were tight in the legs but you got them up but there was NO way in the WORLD they were going to get zipped or buttoned? Well that was the issue with this child's pants. They were hanging wide open in the front, then looking at the legs I am not sure how she got into them...now I understand why were were hanging out the back. As I am making all these observations she comments to me "Is you pregnant?"
Smiling "Yes I am." I guess she was making observations too. =)

February is the longest month of the year. I don't care if it is the shortest one in days , it seems long!!! I hate the programs that are crammed down our throats in February and I hate the weather. I want spring!!

Today we were given numbers at school for a fun valentines day activity. I think my number was rigged and that is all that I am saying. =)

Mondays

I am not a big fan of Mondays. The weekends go super quick no matter what, you drag your butt in and there you go...Whoo-hoo

This is how my morning started at about 4:30.
"Mama, Mama!"
I walk into my darling son's room. "What's wrong baby?"
"Be-be go?" (Which is Jack for my binky fell out of my mouth and I would now like it)
I turned on the lamp, "Look for it while mommy goes potty." Because now the very first thing I have to do upon waking up is pee like a race horse.
"No!!! and the screaming crying begins."
I go take care of business and go back into Jack's room.
I lay down with him and promptly find be-be and hand it to him.
"Mama snuggle! " I was commanded
So I snuggle in ready to catch a few more zzz's when I realize the bed is wet and so are Jack's pajamas.
I promptly explain and we quickly go change our diaper which was acceptable. However he did NOT want to take his pajamas off. That was when the screaming started and continued the entire time I got him re-dressed. Then he was more upset when we did not go back to "Jack's bed" and he wanted nothing to do with "daddy's bed or daddy".

Needless to say it was quite the process. However I did get to work a little early for a change. I am afriad my dislike for Monday's might be genetic because my son sure didn't seem in the mood this morning either. =)

Manic Monday

As I type this my living room and kitchen is still filled with smoke. My husband woke me up this morning at 6:00. I have to leave my house by 6:20 at the LATEST in order to get to work on time. I got into my car at 6:28 and of course was late...as I walked into school I hummed just "Another Manic Monday." That was my theme for the day....

I did not seem to be alone, several of my friends seemed to be having one of those days too.

When I got home Tom asked what I wanted for dinner. I have entered the third trimester which does weird things to the appetite, I eat because I have to but generally nothing really sounds good to me. Tom was starving. "How about the popcorn shrimp?"
"Ummm not for me but go ahead, I think I am going to have a grilled peanut butter."
While fixing dinner I completely inhaled a whole bag of grapes. Tom decided to fry his shrimp because it would be faster. Upon putting the shrimp in the pan it turned completely BLACK and filled the kitchen with smoke. Then it melted the spoon he was using, I mean MELTED. I managed to burn one grilled peanut butter so take two. The second sandwich snapped the spatula in half. Needless to say we should have ordered a pizza.

I am glad that this Monday is coming to an end. =)

Random musings of a crazy woman

My mind this morning is spinning like a top but not neccessarrily about anything in particular. So I decided to blog...plus it sounds like more fun that working on the MOUND of stuff that I have to do on my desk.

• It's Friday! TGIF, it has been a LONG week. Granted we didn't have school on Monday but it was a long week.
• Sleeping, I do very little of it, lately. Partly because I can't get comfortable and the other part is I am up constantly to pee. I also am I "hot" sleeper normally. Now that Duece is cooking right along I am getting hotter and hotter. To accomodate for this I have become a bed hopper. I literally change beds throughout the night looking for cold sheets. Once I am in a cold bed, I'm out for a little while. This may be putting a small damper on my marriage....or at least my husband's favorite part of the marriage but hey what's a girl going to do. Plus as much as I love snuggling it's way more comfortable to have a bed to yourself.
• A good friend is our school social worker. We always joke that some people think that she does nothing but get mannie's and pedi's all day. As a special education teacher, I have realized that some people think that of me. That or they think I have the kids coloring, sorting crayons, making pot-holders and licking paste. ---- Just for references I do try to teach. I realize that they may not learn a lot, it may not be quality, but damn it we're trying. =)
• Keeping my pants up. As my "many" readers know I have trouble keeping my pants up. Some will say it is because I have no butt. I guess I agree. I had to buy a new pair of maternity jeans because my jeans from when I was pregnant with Jack will NOT stay up to save my life. These new ones were perfect. So I bought a second pair, EXACTLY the same!!!! And you know what?? They will not stay up!!!!! When does a girl get a break?

I suppose I should get to work now. Oh and by the way, my oldest child made another train extravaganza last night.

Little boys

I love my husband but sometimes he is like a little kid. Case in point ...this is what he did after Jack went to bed. I am not going to have two boys I have three!