Oh the Joys of Motherhood

So this morning started out great. I got up and took the boys to walk in the Relay for Life for our daycare team. We met Aunt Jess and Max and walked with her. After about a 1/2 hour or so Jess noticed Jack was holding himself.

"Jack do you have to go potty?" Jess asked
"Yes, really bad." he answered dancing.

I left the two strollers with Jess and started running across the park carrying Jack. He began chanting uh-uh-uh as we ran. I looked at him and said "Don't pee on me." He looked innocently and said "It's bouncy." I promptly put him down and we ran the rest of the way hand in hand. After a miss with the potty we played at the playground for a while and then ended up going to the Coney Island with Coopers and Bauers.

At the Coney Island Jack went to the bathroom twice. We get in the car and make a 45 minute drive to Royal Oak. About 5 minutes from our destination he begins shouting from the back seat I have to go pee and poopy. I get to the place where we have to pick up the package, run in with Jack holding his privates and he makes it to the bathroom. We then drive about 20 minutes and stop at Target.

Jack had been asking for an Iron Man all day, he was pretty good so I decided to indulge. We are in line at Target when Jack begins again asking to go potty.

"Are you serious? You just went? You are just going to have to wait until Mommy pays. Are you serious? You just went? Hold it?" All came out of my mouth in rapid succession as we waited in line and he danced in the cart holding himself. Now to my defense, he asks to go all the time, everywhere. I think he likes to check out bathrooms. He knows that going to the bathroom gets him out of things for a few minutes. (like bed time, dinner, cleaning, etc) So I assumed this was just another example of that power struggle. As I became more annoyed with the inconvenience of it all, Jack makes a little noise and then says "I'm all wet." As he says this urine is pouring down his leg, through the cart and all over the floor. I calmly tell the cashier,

"I'm really sorry he just had an accident, you are going to need a mop or something." The cashier says "It's okay. It happens, I guess he really had to go." She then turns on her light, when the supervisor comes over she points at Jack, "He peed, we need a clean up and that cart is going to need to be hosed." I am now horrified. I lift Jack out of the cart, pick up Ryan and march out of the store. Jack is walking with his legs wide apart and whining, I'm wet. Then he stops and begins crying "I left my sunglasses." I whip around and march back in to the pee soaked cart to look for the sunglasses, meanwhile Jack is stopping traffic as he walks slowly with his pee soaked pants behind me. I am shouting "Come on!" as a young 20 something couple looks at me with judging eyes. I hear the Target workers talking, laughing, and complaining about cleaning up my kids urine. I check the cart, no glasses.
"They aren't there, they are probably in my bag. Regardless, let's go!" I grab Jack's hand and march out to the truck. I put Ryan in his car seat and strap him in. Put Jack in the passenger front seat and begin to change him. I had a clean pair of underwear for him but that was it. He was now clean, dry, and in just a t-shirt and underwear. (His socks and shoes were wet too.) I then put him in his car seat with the intent to go home.

Wrong! I cannot find my keys anywhere. I begin tearing my bag apart. I begin tearing my car apart. I take Ryan out of his car seat to make sure they aren't under him. I realize I cannot go back into the store because Jack is barely dressed. I cannot leave them in the car. I begin to panic. I called Tom to talk me down. We were a 1/2 hour from home but he said he would bring the extra keys. I took a deep breath and said I would figure it out. I flagged down a Target worker and embarrassed explained, "My son had an accident in the store, I have him changed but he in now in just underwear and I cannot find my keys. I think I may have dropped them in the store." He was very nice and asked if I looked in my bags-ya think? Then said he would check inside. Meanwhile a nice lady came over and said "I'm a mom, I've been there. Do you need a pull up?" I explained the pee soaked kid was now clean and dry, I just now had no way to leave Target without keys. The Target guy comes back out "They remembered you, there were no keys. Where else were you at?"

I began to tear the car d apart for the 5th or 6th time when I noticed the keys. When I put Jack in the front to clean him up, I must have set the keys on the dash. With all thrashing around I did, I must have knocked them, or they slid...anyway they ended up way in the front of my windshield under the wipers. Now do I flag down the Target guy again and tell him I found my keys? Do I call and tell the ladies at guest services? I probably should have, but I just threw the keys in the ignition and got the heck out dodge.

JAWS

Ryan started out with two teeth. They seemed to come early and always in pairs. At 13 months old he has 10, including 2 molars. He started biting Mommy about six months. He quickly realized that, that was not such a good idea.

On the other hand he also quickly learned biting his brother was a good idea. Ryan is pretty laid back which is a good thing because his older brother frequently mauls him, loves him into submission, and basically beats on him regularly. However as Ryan has gotten a little older he is starting to get a mind for himself. When Jack will take toys he grunts, crys, screams etc. Then one day he discovered that if he bites Jack; he gets the toy back, Jack cries, and leaves him alone.

As a parent I know I need to teach Ryan that biting is not nice, especially since he went to school and bit his friend Max, but I also understand that he is defending himself. What is funny is that Ryan has only bit Jack twice but all he has to do is open his mouth and lean towards Jack and Jack immediately screams and runs away. I can almost hear the Jaws soundtrack as it happens.

Star Wars

My husband loves Star Wars. He read the books, had the toys, memorized the movies and married his own Princess Leia, aka (me. Carrie Fisher) It seems that the traits are genetic. Jack says that Star Wars is his favorite movie. Tom dug out his Star Wars toys and Jack is loving it. He told me the other day "Blue Sywalker is a good guy, Darp Vader has a red sord."